What do you think of this poem - (It's Called "Crying Cause")?

Question

Crying tears of joy
I know it's not only in my mind
Your eyes exposed the truth

Building a bridge between our hearts, minds and
souls
I'm crying cause I'm so overjoyed
Crying cause I've finally found you
Crying cause you accept me as me
My heart is so full of powerful emotions
Emotions I crave for
Emotions that empower me
Emotions that'll spur on everlasting happiness

Crying cause I need to
Crying cause I accept myself as me
Crying cause I'm no longer trapped inside myself
Crying cause I'm free to fly like an eagle
Crying cause when I think of you, all my dreams
come true

Crying cause I'm not in love with you
Crying cause it's something more real
Crying cause its more potent and deep than love
itself

Tear drops...drop...

Crying cause it's so wonderful
Crying cause it's natural
Crying cause I'm breathing
Crying cause I'm alive
Crying cause it's heavenly

Crying cause there's nothing more I could ever want
Crying cause

Answer 1

I feel it's often difficult to include such loaded words like "soul" and "mind" when there isn't any description or explication. The use of "cause" instead of 'because' was fairly distracting. Anaphora used to excess is also fairly distracting. There seemed to be a whole lot of statement with no explication, no metaphor, nothing to compare to... almost like trying to write song lyrics where the rhythm and melody is supposed to cover up any shortcomings.



But with any kind of writing, nothing substitutes for writing and writing some more. This poem seems a bit on the juvenile side but can be used as a basis for another poem. Sometimes the trick is in trying to explain "mind", "soul", "real", "hearts", "alive", "wonderful" and all the other words that carry a weight in and of themselves.

Answer 2

Crying cause it's so wonderful

Crying cause it's natural

Crying cause I'm breathing

Crying cause I'm alive

Crying cause it's heavenly





yes!these are the reasons of our cryings...



I like it...

Answer 3

There's noting more beautiful for a person to write a poem as a means of his outlet. To release one's loneliness, happiness, depression and pure joy. And most especially sharing it with others.Cry, if you have to, because it's when we experience the most deepest part of our feelings, be it sadness or happiness. I'll cry with you.

Answer 4

here, have a soft tissue roll!